How To Become a Better Listener in 8 Easy Steps
How to Become a Better Listener
Read below for a simple, step-by-step process in expanding your listening skills!
Conscious Buy-ins: Play with asking the other person if they would like you to just listen OR listen and help out or give advice (don’t give them advice if they don’t ask for it). For example: “I’m really excited to hear this - would you like to me to just listen or also give some advice here?”
2. Nervous System Regulation: Tune into your nervous system and notice: is it spacious or contracted? Learn how to consciously bring more spaciousness to your nervous system while interacting with another
3. Curiosity: From within the benefit of that spaciousness bring in a mindset of: deep curiosity, interest, and compassion for the other person’s experience
4. Empathy: instead of projecting from your point of view, work to hold your point of view AND their’s: what is it really like to be in there position right now as they share this?
5. Treasure: Treasure and drink in every morsel of what this person is expressing, how they are expressing it, their body language their mood, their mannerisms… listen closely with nuance… like you were tasting the notes of a fine wine
6. Reflect: while listening closely throughout the conversation take the time to repeat back what you hear in your own words. This helps you listen even more closely and helps the speaking hear back their own expression and own it… or clarify it - to themselves and to you
7. Active: check in with them and check in with yourself to see if you are getting their experience right & if there is more to be spoken & heard… deepen the listening: “Am I getting you so far?” “Is there anything more?” “Is there anything underneath that?’
8. Share Empathy & Impact: put yourself completely in the other person’s position & imagine what they might be going through - really feel it - then share… then go deep, explore & own your own feelings hearing what they just said & share
